I coach pee-wee soccer.

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Okay, are you almost done laughing yet?

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Glad we got that out of the way.

So last night, my kids were out kicking the ball and each other, and having a grand old time being kids. Neither team was particularly good, although there was one older girl on the other team that had some skill.

Well, every ten minutes or so, I let my kids go for a water break, and then switch up the positions. It's pretty standard for me in my year and a half coaching to let all the kids get water, and then make sure everyone gets a chance to play every position.

Well, last night, on the second water break some old fat guy (grandpa for some little girl on the other team) starts b*tching at me for taking so long for water breaks.

What the f*ck.

His fat, dumb ass is sitting in a chair, drinking god knows what, and he wants to start complaining to me that I let my kids drink some water after running around for ten minutes? Is this for f*cking serious?

Not only are these kids 1/10th his size and without the camel water hump, but they are also actually moving.

But besides that, what kind of dickless wonder b*tches at a volunteer coach for 4 and 5 year old soccer? I mean, f*ck, if I wasn't there "doing a piss poor job coaching," he wouldn't even have anything to watch. He'd have to sit home with his reruns of MASH spending time trying to decide what color interior he should get for his coffin, and wondering why the grandkids never visit.

When did this become socially acceptable?

Not only would I never b*tch at a volunteer coach, but if I was sitting on the sidelines just being a regular parent, and someone else started bitching at a volunteer coach, I'd face-f*ck them until they realized that hell was a very real place.

Unfortunately, last night I had eight little kids that were looking up at me as I replied to the man, "Sir, if you want to do a better job, you can sign up to be a coach in the big building right over there."

The other parents all complimented me on how I handled the fat f*ck, both during and after the game, but I was just absolutely amazed at that stupid peice of shit.

And then he left right away. What kind of a dickless move is that? I wanted to discuss soccer coaching techniques with him, and as soon as the game wrapped up, he grabbed his folding chair, his wife, and bolted for the mini-van.

I guess I have some consulation in the fact that I not only still have sex with my wife, but I can also look down and see my dick, where-as he had no dukes on any of that, but still, was b*tching at a volunteer coach really the correct outlet for "Haven't seen my dick in twenty years" frustration?

I mean, honestly. What the f*ck?

So, just realize that if any of you out there are that guy(or girl), and I'm not a role model for eight little kids at the time, and then you run like a complete peice of sh*t right after, I will be having a discussion with you.

And by discussion, I mean leave a mushroom stamp on your forehead.

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Bad decisions make good stories.
Look at it! LOOK AT MY @SS AND TELL ME IT'S PRETTY!

Some people hate life and it shows. Sometimes it's just too hard to not treat people the way they do in return.

This is why I could never do any kind food service.

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06 Blue EVO 9

Thats pretty bad...for some reason the lightest of sports brings out the worst fans/most intense parents. Props for actually saying something, he may think twice about complaining again.

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www.fastdesignandsign.com <---- decals and design

I coached soccer for ten years. It gets much worse when you get to the competitive tryout teams and every parent thinks their kid is the next Pele and why isn't he playing more.

Congrats for doing a thankless volunteer job for the kids.

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I applaud your commitment for ten years of coaching, but you mention exactly what I'm talking about.

At pee-wee level, there is no competativeness at all.

Hell, you're luck if all three kids on the same team are trying to kick the ball the right way.

I don't think I could deal with this at the level where some kids are actually into the game to the point of developing skills.

I'm just trying to teach them not to bite each other, follow basic instructions, have fun as a team, and maybe even how to work together in small groups.

The same skills some of the parents have apparently lost...

I mean, knock on wood, all of my parents (for the kids on my team) are very supportive, and compliment me often on how I deal with tantrums and try and teach over all. I think it has something to do with hanging out with a bunch of drunken car guys on a regular basis.

But do the few that are yelling things out at games, in front of the kids and other parents, and complaining about this type of stuff honestly not realize that they are doing it? Or are they just out there to heckle the volunteers? Or maybe they are pissy about the fact that the child pornography conviction from three years ago means that they can't coach?

I'd really like to sit down with some of these people and ask them, "Why do you think you are so f*cked up?" and hear there answers.

_________________
Bad decisions make good stories.
Look at it! LOOK AT MY @SS AND TELL ME IT'S PRETTY!

Out of curiosity, do you coach in a bathrobe?

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"Let me sit next to the funny guy."

1995 Baby blue Civic GT

And one of those pipes that looks real, but really blows bubbles.

Hey, in another thirteen years these are the girls that are going to be living at my house and swimming in my grotto. If you want to scout the good ones you have to be willing to start early.

But really, my friend Tom won't date a girl unless she's younger than his car... He has it figured out.

_________________
Bad decisions make good stories.
Look at it! LOOK AT MY @SS AND TELL ME IT'S PRETTY!

there will be more of those... just ignore them.

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From Brixton Prison, Jebb Avenue London S.W. 2 Inglan

I know this is kinda old and no, I didn't get past you coaching a pee-wee soccer team, I mean you, a figure of authority and influencing young childrens lives?! God save the little children.

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San Marino Red - Honda 3KGT VR4 For the win!

Everything I know about coaching I learned from the bad news bears movies.

_________________
Bad decisions make good stories.
Look at it! LOOK AT MY @SS AND TELL ME IT'S PRETTY!