So a very frustrated Cobra owner comes to my desk on Friday. Doesn't say hello or anything, just walks up and says, "I did a little research and those cars don't run 11's stock. So where you hiding the Nitrous?"
Me: "I was being honest when I said I wasn't running Nitrous."
Him: "Then that car is not stock like you claimed. You also didn't mention it was AWD. Maybe we should try a different type of race?"
Me: "You're right. I'll let my secrete out. It's the polished motor parts that make the car fast. Didn't you know, clean motors perform better than dirty ones? Also, there an AWD marking on my 1/4 windows in plane sight. I haven't done anything to the exterior of the car. Even the rims are stock."
Him: "That motor is not stock. You must have larger turbos and a built engine."
Me: "Oh no, the turbo housings are stock, but the wheels inside them might be a little bigger.
"
Him: "So now you're admitting the car isn't stock?"
Me: "You really think I'd be dumb enough to race a stock VR4 against a highly modified Cobra running race gas?"
Him: "I never said I was running race gas."
Me: "Oh common, I can STILL see the white soot on your chrome tail pipes and I could smell it in the pits. Unless there's a gas station nearby that sells leaded 93 octane, I'm going to assume you're running race gas."
Him (after a moment of silence): "Well, I guess there's no fooling you. I'd still like to know where all this extra power comes from in your motor that magically takes 2 seconds off you're time."
Me: "The right combo of parts and a great driving skills."
Him: "Driver skill? Hah, we should line up again in the spring when the temps aren't so cool, and I can get traction. Maybe I'll bring in slicks to make it a fair?"
Me: "Give me a break. I ran you with the same tires, the same octane feul, and the same tune that I use to drive to and from work. I didn't even remove the spare tire out of the hatch when I made any of those runs."
Him: "Well, you better have a few more tricks up your sleve, because next spring I'm going to have some "extras" instore just for you."
Me: "Well, I definately won't be waiting for you while you're sitting there burning your tires."
Him: "Let's just hope we never cross paths on the street, because I'll smoke you on the freeway."
Me: "Probably, but then you can be the one to explain to the police officer why you were speeding on public roads."
At this point, all I got in return was a snooty mark and he walked off. That was about the gist of our conversation.
